Dang, it’s hard to read! But the Tankmen Wikia posted John’s official character card and one of the things that intrigued me is it says John has a great sense of fashion. Hmm….. Either that’s his maternal side or…

John’s a mommy and we’re yet to see it (okay, where’s your tankling? Either John was a teen dad (either the Pico fan theory is canon or he raised an abandoned tankbaby with his folks at the age of 13) or he was a mother figure to Steve (actually that makes lots of sense, Steve is 16 while John is 35 (there’s already a giant age gap) and Steve lost his parents, maybe John partially raised Steve then got full custody over him, that’s if Steve’s parents died when Steve was just a tankling, we really don’t know what age it happened, it really depends on if Steve remembers what they’re like. But regardless, I believe John partially raised Steve, where he was essentially a third parent to the then Baby Steve. And who knows? maybe Steve saw John as a mother at an incredibly young age and got him the mug, especially if he lost his own mother long before his father. Also, maybe their friendship started when Steve was old enough to not depend on John as much, can we just get a Tankmen prequel series with a young John and Baby Steve please? Thank you!), but being a fashionista, I guess if he were given a tankling, he’ll probably be all over how they dress before they head outside. You know how moms are like, he’ll be that but much worse.

Either way, it now makes me wish we saw John’s personal life, maybe when he comes home from work for the night or when he’s just out shopping. I bet he has adorable loungewear and causal clothes, being fashionista means he got swag. And I bet that’s one of his interests, he loves clothes and goes to the mall and department stores a lot to find the latest and greatest fashion (actually, I think that’s where our favorite marshmallow gets his pretzels from).

Update: Here's the full version, thanks to @Malachy!

We have been robbed! I now want to see John during his "after hours" times where he's in cute clothes. (And is probably annoying when he goes to the mall or caring for a tankbaby or a tankling because at the mall, he just flocks to the clothing stores and buys what he thinks is hot and being dad, he'll want the tankbaby in adorable clothes and is quick to judge how the tanklings leave the house (Given my theory, poor Steve and his sisters (from my headcanon) got it rough, "Steve, you can't walk out like that!!")) Don't worry, I will add it in my future Tankmen web series (mainly, the scenes where he's home or out shopping).